Developing effective communication skills is vital to succeeding as both a leader and a teammate. One constant across all of my professional experiences, whether during my military service, time at the White House, working in patient advocacy, or as a professional speaker, is that communication matters. It’s the foundation upon which actions, decisions, and cultural behaviors become outcomes. Learning to communicate effectively is not easy and takes practice. As the…

After reading the article ‘The Best Leaders Have a Contagious Positive Energy’ by Emma Seppala and Kim Cameron, the following quote stood out to me and reminded me of the importance of positivity in leadership. It reads, “The greatest predictor of success for leaders is not their charisma, influence, or power. It is not personality, attractiveness, or innovative genius. The one thing that supersedes all these factors is positive relational…

The inimitable Coach John Wooden said, “Worry about your character, not your reputation.” Your character includes the moral, ethical, behavioral and mental qualities that are unique to you. I believe it must involve integrity and honesty. One of the most important lessons I learned during my time in the Air Force is the importance of credibility. Specifically, I learned to never miss an opportunity to correct the record.   When I…

What does it mean to belong? It’s a single word with huge significance. The feeling of belonging is a fundamental part of human nature, it’s about connectedness and acceptance. As human beings, we will go to great lengths to feel like we belong.   Whenever we start at new job or join a new community we often yearn for that sense of belonging. Many people feel strongly about belonging to…

“Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another; it is the only one.”   – Dr. Albert Einstein Throughout my formative stages, and well into my military and speaking career, I have always been undeniably inspired by the power of role models. We all have those people that embolden us to think big and dream big. And, for many of us, these influences don’t come in the form…

By definition, I’m a procrastinator. I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember. Yet, I consider myself a successful person, personally and professionally. Every article I’ve ever read, every class I’ve ever taken, and every mentor I’ve ever listened to, will tell you that procrastination is a negative trait. To the vast majority out there, procrastination is a problem to be solved, a trait to be fixed,…

As kids, we were unafraid to dream big. Minus the social awkwardness of the teenage years, we generally weren’t swayed by other people’s expectations of us or their perceptions of our dreams. For some odd reason, the older we get, the more susceptible we are to being influenced by society’s expectations of us. Somewhere along the way, we seem to subdue our dreams, become more reserved in our ambition, and…

Think, for a second, about all of the times in your life where you’ve taken a risk that paid off. Now, think about the times where you avoided any risk at all. Looking back on those moments, which of the outcomes do you prefer?

Hands down, this is arguably my favorite photo taken during my time serving on the Thunderbirds…because of the story behind it. I had just landed from flying in my first public airshow in Fort Smith, Arkansas, circa March, 2006. I was exhilarated and relieved, all at the same time, that I’d made it through the flying portion of the day and I was excited to head to my first ‘autograph…

It’s safe to say that most of us want to be successful in life, both personally and professionally. Most of us know that we get to define what success looks like, which is often made more enticing when we can earn the accolades of our peers along the way. That said, I’ve seen far too many successful people who are not prepared for what comes with accomplishment, achievement, and prosperity….

What do you think is the most important trait of an effective leader? This is a time-honored question asked in the halls of academia, written in the prose of leadership journals, and pontificated over during office coffee breaks. Widely accepted answers typically revolve around the usual suspects: vision, good communication skills, integrity, confidence, humility, decisiveness, etc. It’s certainly hard to argue against any of those responses and it’s nearly impossible…

Mindset is everything. Many of you have heard the saying “life isn’t about what happens to you, but how you react to it”. It has taken me years to fully absorb what this truly means. Life doesn’t always go as planned, and because of this, we must learn how to adapt by turning our heads towards what is in our control. It’s easy to fall into the habit of having…

As a fighter pilot and combat-proven flight lead, one of the very last things I’d say to my wingmen before stepping to our jets was “When in doubt, always honor the Wingman Contract.” The Wingman Contract represents the gentleman’s handshake and the gentlewoman’s agreement that says: this is our culture and our standards of behavior. It’s an inherent, and often unspoken, promise to each other that our actions will always…

I had wanted to become a fighter pilot since I was 5 years old. I spent elementary school, junior high, and high school almost maniacally focused on this goal. Joining youth programs like the Air Force Junior ROTC helped me stay focused on my goals during the tumultuous teenage years and even provided me with scholarships to pay for flight lessons. The military life and a career in aviation was…

The global pandemic has affected each of our lives in more ways than one, with most of us transitioning to all things virtual and work from home. It has forced us to adapt to new ways of thinking, learning, working and communicating. With everything going on, I’d say we have learned the importance of expecting the unexpected. Not only that, but it has been made clear that some things are…

This is the tall and the short of it. During pilot training, people used to chuckle at me and my Instructor Pilot, Michael McLaughlin, anytime we’d step to a T-38 jet to go fly together. At the time, I was the minimum allowable height to become a fighter pilot (5′ 4″) and he was, well, the other side of the height spectrum. I’d honestly pray our assigned jet was close…

One of the most memorable assignments of my career was when I served as a White House Fellow (WHF). The story of how this came about goes to show how life is full of serendipitous encounters. At an airshow as a Thunderbird pilot, I met a man by the name of John Borling. He was a retired Major General, a fighter pilot, and a hero of Vietnam, enduring time as…

All aviators are taught early on to have a healthy respect for the power of headwinds.  Headwinds can shift, they can dictate your route of flight, the altitude you fly at, how much fuel you require, your speed and your timing. At their very worst, headwinds can force you to change direction, they can cost you time, energy, and even take away options. Interestingly, there are two times aviators will…

As I left the doctor’s office last week, it was nearly impossible for me to hold back the tears that were welling up in my eyes, threatening to drip down my face…in public, no less. I kept telling myself that fighter pilots don’t cry in front of people, that we are tough, and that we must keep a stiff upper lip. I was somewhat comforted by the fact that any…

The story behind my call sign “FiFi” has a few details that are technically NSFW. But, if I meet you in person sometime, and you buy me a craft brewed beer, I’ll be more than happy to share. Receiving a call sign, often marked by a ‘naming ceremony’, indicates the moment that your squadron has deemed you worthy of flying alongside them in combat. Arguably, there is no higher honor…

Many don’t know this, but my husband Paul and I did, in fact, fly together before we started dating. I was a brand new Second Lieutenant in my very first fighter squadron and he was assigned as my crewed Weapons System Officer (WSO) for that day’s sortie. In fact, it was a formal upgrade training ride for me and he was actually my assigned Instructor. We’d planned an air-to-ground training…

Failures can knock us down, make us lose confidence in ourselves and can threaten to prevent us from trying again. When I was in pilot training, I failed one of my earliest checkrides (an important “flying test”). I encountered a plethora of maintenance problems when I went to start the jet, which was frustrating. But, once in the air, I flew pretty darn well. However, once on the ground, the…